23rd March 2020 a date that changed life as we knew it in the UK. We sat patiently in anticipation for what Mr Johnson was about to announce. In our minds we already knew, we were just waiting for the axe to be swung.

24th March 2020 we all stopped, the whole of the UK isolated and trapped within the comforts of our dens. What a f#*king result hey! I think like many that I speak for, the first 6 weeks were amazing. It was like a free holiday, apart from the worry if we were going to catch the death disease and whether we would ever be able to earn a normal wage.

But besides them two points it was needed, a time to take a step back on life, forced to spend time with our nearest and dearest. Be creative to pass the time. A gift to be able to wear lounge wear every day, make outrageous dinners and spend far to much time sat in front of day time tele. Watching our fates on the 5pm announcements by men who are still enjoying cheese, biscuits and a glass of wine together (Obviously we didn’t know that at the time). Every day felt like a Saturday, little glass of wine, couple of beers there, maybe a biscuit with a cuppa and for me FIFA on tap. Dreamy. I must say for the majority of this time I sat in my pants and I loved it.

Our working lives were tipped upside down, we were working at home, our connection was through zoom and any other type of face time. Whilst wearing some very questionable attire on our bottoms half’s.

The only human interaction we got was, the 100’s of online quizzes we took part in and I suppose not human but I did talk to my plants. Us as a nation became obsessed with the garden, like we had a stand at Chelsea flower show, we finally decided to make use of outdoor spaces and this become our sanctuary. Even balconies turned into fabulous outdoor exhibits.

We were privileged with walking for a hour a day, which was awkward ,barely wanted to make eye contact with someone in case of death and then their was our other joy in life the weekly shop. We made a dash early so we did not have fight for the last toilet paper on the shelf. Stockpiling paracetamol like heroin addicts. We got excited about going to shops, this was no longer a chore, I was buzzing for the food shop every week and I must admit sometimes I dressed up for that occasion. Not a full tuxedo but a lovely t-shirt and jean combo. Even treated myself to a shave on shopping days .

Then all them novelties wore off.

We were left with our thoughts. Left alone with our minds. Nothing to face but you! A face and a mind that we have left un nurtured for years. Hoping we never have to come to grips with what is in Pandora’s box.

Feelings we have avoided for years. Negative emotions left suppressed that we have been afraid to confront or comfort. A overwhelming sense of is this it in life? All now facing us like the grim reaper had finally shown it’s presence

Whilst making sure we kept a safe distance, wash our hands and put a mask on. For some even wearing a mask in your own car whilst on your own. I know, don’t pretend you didn’t think this was f#*king ridiculous. If you are one of these mask wearers in the car please feel free to enlighten my why?

Anyway back to “no where to hide.”

See this facing ourselves for the first time was triggering. Bloody scary even in the literal sense of looking at me. (side note: especially scary for me as I had a bad incident with clippers and I wasn’t looking my best – see photo below). We had to finally take stock and understand our mindsets. For most of us, our minds had been polluted and fuelled by negativity. From consumption of TV, internet and social media. We were drinking this sh*t like we were raging alcoholics. We had also been told not to behave in a certain way and some feelings, you dare tell that negative crap to anyone else.

We were experiencing emotions as men for the first time, over whelm, sadness, fear, isolation to name a few. All emotions that were seen as weak now staring us back from the mirror like some type of alien.

Our life before the time lockdown, we were left in a age of instant gratification and a desire to be liked or affirmed by all. Being judged for the clothes we wore, the place we went on holiday, how much money was in the bank, the car we drove and many more. We wanted what others wanted we comparing our comforts to influencers. This has still not gone away, for many because of the isolation the microscope on this has been heightened.

Forgetting that western society already has so many more privileges and we have millions of reasons to be grateful. Down to a privilege that goes unnoticed, you reading this. Ok! I know, may not be a mind altering novel, but this is a privilege that the minority in this world have.

Truth is because of all of this, when we finally decided to face it, the real pandemic started. The mental health crisis, suicide rates soaring, more children suffering with depression, loneliness ripping the heart of the nation and crimes getting committed in the world that were shocking.

It still goes unnoticed the effects of this lockdown has had on our mental health.

This has been a ticking time bomb awaiting to erupt for many years. There is no surprise the rise in rates of mental health illness. The stigma that is associated with it, most have avoided doing anything about any problems we may have. If you mention therapy or counselling to most of our loved ones people automatically assume you are crazy.

How did taking action to work on yourself mentally become so stigmatised? If we were to go to the gym and work your chest for physical improvement, no one says a thing. If we were to go to the doctors and get a prescription everyone wishes you to get better. But working with a specialist mentally Crazy. In my opinion this needs to rebranded and celebrated when people take action on their mental fitness.

Whilst many of us will slip into the old way of being the pre covid time, I urge you reading this before it gets to late to take action, forgotten, suppressed, to take this chance and….

Project reset.

Now ask yourself, have you slipped back in to life? Just doing what it was like before the pandemic? Life is just normal or are you using this time of taking stock to look after yourself better?

For many I think their has been many positives, I know Mr Amazon has been licking his lips ever since. But what I mean by this, is that by looking inwards has become a fundamental part of our daily life and we are fed up of not doing what we have the right to do. Which is be unapologetically ourselves, on our terms, doing what we want and from where we want.

When did this not become our a fundamental part of our beings? It should be our priority day in and day out.

Many businesses have used this opportunity to now empower their staff, creating cultures that allow much more flexibility, even to companies introducing 90 day allowance to work from anywhere in the world and change the way culture is. How cool is this? Finally as experts in our fields we were trusted and empowered. Great feeling.

For many of us humans we have used this opportunity to take stock of our happiness. No longer living for someday and living for today. As I always say :

“Someday is what you take to grave”

We are now realising, money in the bank doesn’t buy our happiness just stuff and stability is only something we can give ourselves. Everything around us is delicate, we can’t control it and it could be taken away from us at any point. Just like our freedoms were.

I have seen so many people over the last year become entrepreneurs, start the class they have been putting off, invest in their mental health, take more quality time with family and now use this lockdown experience as a template of what sometimes we need. To face ourselves and be honest with the most important person. YOU!

We get one shot at life, time is not infinite it is finite. Death is a guarantee. So if the job you do doesn’t set your world on fire, change it! If your relationships aren’t bringing you joy, take a step away.

The more we empower ourself the greater the opportunities open up, the more we work on ourselves mentally the better we are navigating life and we are able to see positives to our problems along with its lessons.

The most important take away for me from our time trapped facing myself. Was my need for time to self. Ok so I don’t want 6 months at a time and to cut my own hair (as seen above the world does not deserve to see that) but I do want to honour myself a little more. Give myself space away from the noise of the world so I can be clear, move with clarity and appreciate the gift that is life.

For a long time my life has been based on others around me making me happy, relying on them to bring me joy, connection and feeling. When the actual lesson we should all be learning is as follows:

We have the power to give ourselves everything we need and not wanting from anyone. When we truly understand this and allow ourselves to gift us that. We can show up for the people that matter in the best light possible. Living a life that is purposeful, aligned and truthful.

When you show up truly in this mental state, watch what happens to relationships around you, I have witnessed this first hand in mine. My family are now taking action on their own happiness and decisions that were deemed a risk. Your power of purpose is not just for yourself but is also a source of inspiration for the people you love.

So ask yourself this today. What is it I need? How can I give that to me?

But and the biggest BUT of this all.

Please move on to your next chapter with empathy and compassion. For many they are stuck in this battle of facing themselves and now find themselves engulfed in a war that lies unnoticed or seen. The war within inside the mind. For years many have left their mental wellbeing un-nurtured, they are facing what they have done their best to avoid for the first time.

It is by no coincidence that for the first time in history our government are finally taking notice. It doesn’t get the main stream coverage the real pandemic deserves.

Why?

Because the people at the top haven’t had the balls to face themselves and take a moment to face the battle we all did, be alone with our thoughts. There is no way to reverse the psychological damage of years of cultural suppression. Let alone make a few pennies from it.

There is no magic vaccine, for people to jab for the battle to stop and not a booster insight. This battle is for the individual.

Be grateful and be mindful. Live today.

Daniel constable
Mindfulness and Performance Coach